Fairytales: Happily ever after?
by Kingyo
Summary: WARNING! Unless you intend to read about Varia being the 7 dwarfs, Yamamoto with curly hair or anything like that, I suggest that you should not read this... Really. I mean it...


**Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs**

Once upon a time, long, long ago, there lived a king and queen who ruled over the distant Kingdom of Vongola. The citizens loved their handsome and majestic King Iemitsu and the gentle and kind-hearted Queen Nana deeply. All seemed well, with the country prospering under their rule.

However, sadness lingered in the queen's heart when she did not have a child she had so dearly wished. One day, Queen Nana spotted a falling star prayed with all her heart for a child with skin as white as snow and lips as red as blood.

Soon after that, the beautiful queen got her heartfelt desire when she gave birth to a baby boy who had skin white as snow and lips red as blood. His hair was a problem though as it had taken to look like a thorn tree in Nana's opinion. It made her regretted dearly that she had not added the wish of the child having a smooth silky hair.

The King laughed with joy and kingdom celebrated the couple's bundle of joy in glee as their ruler had provided the whole city with free sushi that day. In his drunken stupor, Iemitsu waved a half eaten tuna sushi around and declared loudly. "I shall name my son…hic… TUNA!"

"Are you sure about that?" asked his horrified scribe, Basil. But there was no reply, for the King had already fallen asleep. Feeling sympathetic for the prince, he added a few extra characters to the boy's name, successfully turning it into Tsuna.

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When Prince Tsuna turned nine, the King and Queen disappeared. There was only a letter left on their bed stating that they had gone on a life-long honeymoon and told the people not to look for them. Oh how the kingdom despair at the lost of such wonderful rulers (=3=).

As the prince was too young to rule, a duke named Reborn was given dictatorship of the country. Unfortunately, being a sadistic man, he was a cruel and unkind to the poor innocent boy. He had even traumatized the kid into screaming about toilet bowls with jaws one night.

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Time flew by and Prince Tsuna had grown into a…. helpless and good for nothing sixteen year old brat. (Now the citizens wished the queen had requested a more capable successor instead.) He still had skin as white as snow and lips as red as blood causing him to look extraordinary… like a girl.

At this point, Reborn was fed up with the boy who had managed to break another dozen plates during dinnertime, threw him out of the castle asking him to learn to fend for himself. Tsuna was not too sure whether to feel pleased that he had gotten away from the crazy man or to feel depressed that he had just lost his home. Nevertheless, he ran into the forest, knowing Reborn would shoot him if he returned.

Unknown to the Tsuna, Reborn had then "jokingly" told his five year old nephew, Lambo, to kill the prince if he wanted to be acknowledged. Lambo immediately raced after the poor prince in glee but was stopped short nearly blowing himself up with his Hand Grenades even before he even reached the nearest gate.

Well… even without Lambo, Tsuna had gotten himself into a fix. He had tripped over the roots of the trees for the hundredth time in two days and even the forest animals are starting to feel sorry for the intruder. Just when the prince was about to give up running, he spotted a small house. Feeling reasonably relieved, he knocked on the front door.

After several minutes of waiting and knocking, he realized no one was in. Too tired to care any longer, Tsuna tried the door knob and it opened to his surprise. He stumbled in to take in what was a miniature version of a house. Everything was so small, including the table, the seven chairs and seven beds.

The famished boy grabbed the bread and cheese on the table and stuff his mouth without thinking before dragging himself to the beds located at the corner. He threw himself across three of them and draped his arm on the next. Tsuna gave a contented sigh and fall into a deep sleep.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After dark, the owners of the house finally returned home. They were the seven dwarves who are known to mine for gold in the mountains. As soon as they arrived home, they noticed that someone had been there -- for door was ajar and mud streaks were across the floor. All of them were extremely annoyed at the sight.

The first one with long sliver hair screamed, "VOIIIII! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?"

The second one snickered brandishing a set of scalpels, "Ushiiishishishi. The intruder ate our food."

The third one was the smallest and flying around for some reason, "Che… We have to spend more money on bread again…."

The fourth one began to look really pissed off and demanded, "Where is that scum?"

The fifth one turned to look at the fourth with glistering eyes, "BOSS! I shall look for him!"

The sixth one did not join the ruckus but puff out a large amount of steam from unusual looking his mask.

It was the seventh who was looking at the bed found our dear protagonist. He squealed in delight at the sight of the sleeping boy. "Aww…. I want to eat him up~!" The rest of the dwarfs felt a shiver running through their spine at that sentence.

The forth dwarf, who was apparently the boss, pulled out his gun and fired at the pillow beside Tsuna. ("VOIII! THAT IS MY PILLOW!") The prince jump up with a start and screamed in horror when he saw he was surrounded what seemed to be dwarfs who were about to kill him. "MAN-EATING DRAWFS~!" he shrieked, throwing himself to the corner of the room. The dwarfs winced at his voice.

"Pathetic scum!" the dwarf with a pair of gun spat at him. "What the bloody hell are you doing here?"

Trembling, Tsuna recounted his tale to what he now believed… were his captors.

"We can't even get a ransom!" grumbled the floating one known as Viper.

"Ushi, shi, shi…Make him do all the chores then! A prince LIKE ME should not do such chores." The scary one with knifes said. Tsuna perked up at the word prince but whimpered again when the gun man glared at him.

After much discussion among themselves, the "kind" dwarfs decided to let the prince stay on the condition that he became the maid. Rejecting the offer had not been an option.

"VOIIII! If you dare run away, I shall hunt you and your pathetic ass down..!" the dwarf whom Tsuna deduced to be Squalo yelled at him as they left the house early in the morning. Tsuna could only miserably obey the orders without a word.

Days turned to months. Months turned to years. The routine dragged on and soon, two years past by and Tsuna had became efficient in housekeeping. (He was rather amazed he had managed to survive the near deaths from Xanxus's gun, Squalo's sword and Bel's knifes. Let's not forget Lussuria's sexual advancement.)

Anyway, one fine afternoon, he was doing the laundry as usual (The dwarfs clothes are always covered in dirt. There are some days there are suspiciously red stains but Tsuna was too afraid to ask about it.) when he heard a loud scream. Rushing to the river, he spotted a drowning girl. He dashed to the riverbed and grabbed her flailing arms, pulling her up to shore.

"THANK YOU! You saved Haru's life!" The girl gasped. She threw herself onto the blushing boy as she said "Haru is gonna marry you!"

Tsuna stared at the girl with wide-eyes and sputtered incoherently. Finally, he managed to speak clearly. "I can't! I am working for someone here!" He was relieved that the excuse seemed pretty good and the girl was considering it seriously.

Being brought up to be a gentleman, Tsuna took the girl back to the house to dry herself and found that the dwarfs had already returned home for that day.

"VOII! WHAT IS THIS THING?" Squalo screamed at the boy.

"She fell into…." Before Tsuna could explain, Haru interrupted angrily, stamping her feet in emphasis. "HARU. IS. NOT. A. THING! Haru is a princess and she is gonna marry Tsuna!"

"He owes us money…" Viper replied cutting off whatever the swordman erm.. I mean sword-dwarf was going to say.

"Money? I'll pay you 1 million dollars."

"SOLD." Viper shouted with a smirk.

"Wait… Don't I get to say anything?" Tsuna protested desperately.

"Nope." The chorus of voices answered the boy as he was towed away by the overly enthusiastic princess on his collar. The princess then dragged Tsuna all the way back to her castle and forced him to marry her.

And they lived happily ever after?

* * *

**A/N:**

**The first of the Fairytale: Happily ever after series. I actually wanted to add in that it was ****Bianchi who caused Haru to nearly drown (offering her a poisoned Pineapple) but did not put that part in after that. XD**

**I'll be happy for anyone to correct my English. I tend to get really careless. Also, I welcome anyone who wants to use this concept to write a story too. But let's set a few conditions. **

** 1. Start with: Once a upon time.**

** 2. End with: Happily ever after.**

** 3. Declare which fairytale/nursery rhymes you want here (In reviews or something so that people know) – Hopefully there will be no repeat of the fairytales.**

** 4. Keep it a one shot. **

** 5. Tsuna does not need to be the main**

** 6. Follow the main concept of the fairy tale.**

** 7. Make it funny. **

** 8. Go crazy with ideas.**

**Sounds simple? Take up the challenge! I may or may not do another one. R&R will determine it.**

**Some suggestion: Little mermaid, little miss Muffet, Red riding hood, Cinderella, Beauty and the beast, Hansel & Gretel, Old woman who lived in a shoe, Frog prince, sleeping beauty… **

**There are many more just come up with whatever you can! Wink***


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